Dear Mom, We're almost back home already. So many times, I kept catching myself starting to message you to let you know which state we were in... the way you always asked us to. I heard "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" on the radio and started tearing up. A bunch of songs do that now. I think that's normal. I saw another "PJ" vehicle... but this time it was on mud flaps instead of as a decal. We passed a huge South of the Border entertainment center right across the SC state line. You would have hated it. There weren't any trees. You'd have said that you like Knoebels better because of the shade. Nate is trying his best to cheer me up. Everyone is. You have some great family and friends... I guess they're my friends too though. We're lucky. You'd have loved to see everyone yesterday. I know that I did. It was kind of weird though because I didn't really know what to say when people apologized. I think I said "thank you" a lot... In hindsight, that doesn't really make sense, but I think they all understood. I didn't cry. Not even when we were standing at the cemetery. Something else happened though... You know how you casually mentioned (after just about every funeral we ever went to together) that I should sing at your funeral [and then I'd reprimand you for being morbid]? Well, after my 'speech,' I typed and printed out the lyrics to a chorus of a song that was on my heart; I know that when I'm nervous sometimes my mind goes blank and didn't want to forget them. I prayed, "God, I know my Mom would probably want this included, but You know how deeply nervous I get in front of people... if You want me to sing this, let me know somehow and I'll do it... even if it's between tears." After I spoke at the podium, I just went back to my seat... it wasn't the right time. After the service was over and we were at the cemetery, after Pastor Angelo said a prayer, there were a few moments of silence. I tried to work up my nerve, but couldn't seem to. And just as I was about to open my mouth, Pastor led everyone in a chorus of "Amazing Grace"... transitioning right into the exact portion of the exact song I had typed out at the end of your eulogy... what are the odds? Did you have something to do with that? You'd have been so proud of Dad. Of Jenn. Of Tris. All of the grandkids. So many people showed up because of you--even with a pandemic going on... and so many others followed along with the live video. Goodness, you are loved so much, Mom. I'm proud to be yours. No one had a single bad word to say about you [I was glad I took out the part in my speech about you having 8/9 fruits of the spirit on a regular basis... it was going to be a joke about patience... especially when it came to traffic patterns and wanting people to answer questions faster... it was meant to be funny. You'd have laughed if you heard the context.]... I have to tell you more about all of the wonderful people who jumped in to help and make sure we're okay... but I'll save that for later. Less than 2 hours until we're back home. I miss you, Mom. Love always, "Pookie" ♡
Kaleidoscopic Grace 