21 October 2020: It’s Dad’s birthday.

Dear Mom,

It’s Dad’s birthday.
You already know that.

It feels weird to say “happy birthday” to him when I know that it’s not natural for him to be happy without you. You’ve never missed a birthday since the two of you have known each other… over 40 years.

I’m happy he was born. Without his birthday, he wouldn’t be here (obviously), I wouldn’t be here… the girls wouldn’t be here… and our lives wouldn’t exist as we know them… but it’s difficult to see silver linings when the sunshine is hidden away from the clouds. Reflections need light.

Today also marks Norah’s 20 weeks… and as Bon Jovi would say, “Whooooah, we’re half way there… whooo-OAH… livin’ on a prayer!”

20 more weeks (give or take) until we get to meet her.
She’s 10 inches long and about the size of an axolotl (I had to look it up).

I wonder if you’ve somehow ‘met’ her already… I’m not quite sure how that works exactly, but I know you’re looking out for us. I can feel it.

We already love our mini-girl so much and were able to feel her rolling around and kicking last night.

Machaela said that she’s going to teach her everything she knows and train her to be her protégé. Aria said that she’s going to be the best big sister ever and she’s going to be nicer to her than Machaela is. I think they’re both going to do just fine when she’s here and holdable. They are always sure to include her in conversation… it’s the sweetest thing. You’d be proud.

I started knitting Norah’s blanket the other day… I work on it one row at a time when I can sneak a couple minutes away from life’s typical chaos. I hope it’ll turn out alright.

It won’t be as comforting as your lullabies or as warm as your hugs, but it’s a start.

I miss you.

Love always,
“Pookie”