This has been my prayer journal/notebook since May 11, 2021, It only has about 18 blank pages left inside. But it's beautiful to me.
I know that I started it on May 11th, three years ago, because I remember when I got it. It was a Tuesday. I was going through something really rough in my life at the moment... a storm that I couldn't even specifically identify, but God could. And He did shortly afterwards.
I was confused. Hurting. I still wasn't driving very far because I hadn't fully surrendered that fear over to the Lord yet. But there's a park about a mile from our house. And a CVS on the way.
So I stopped at the CVS, remembering that I had a $10 gift coupon, and bought myself a journal to take with me.
One prior Sunday, our Pastor encouraged everyone to write on a piece of paper, asking the Lord what He wants to say to us, and start jotting down our thoughts to see if any of them stood out.
It was already dark, and there wasn't another soul in sight, so I sat down at one of the wooden benches, took out my new journal, and used the dim lighting from a street lamp some distance away to write: Dear Lord, What is it that You want to say to me?
I sat. And sat. And waited... and it seemed that all of the chaotic mental pinballing that was plaguing my mind just melted away. I couldn't come up with a single thought. So I put my pen back into my bag, closed the book, and got up to leave.
But then I stopped. My heart still felt so heavy even though the thoughts wouldn't come.
I sat back down, reached into my bag for a pen (it ended up being a different one this time), and tried again... "Speak to me; I'm listening."
And that was it. The rest of the page is blank.
But I remember what happened. I got back into the car and drove home.
What I initially saw as an unanswered question, was actually just the introduction page for an entire book--a time-capsule testimony of all of the ways the Lord has been speaking to me over the years... through prayer, studying His Word, writing out scripture (it never returns void), church notes, thoughts... my question didn't go unanswered... God answered my prayers in the best possible way... He strengthened and comforted me through the storms.
When I flip back through the pages, I'm encouraged. I glance over my prayers, writings and song lyric snippets, struggles, joys... and I can see God's hand in it all now... Praise the Lord! He has done and is still doing everything He promised He would... I just had to get quiet and listen.
Start that prayer journal.
“Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed.”
Psalm 107:28-29
Kaleidoscopic Grace 