Look. I don't care if you're OSHA HAZWOPER-certified or the most meticulous person on Earth...your house is not child-proof. Children have a way of manufacturing their own danger. My toddler turned our floor into a slip-n-slide today. And there were no caution signs. If I weren't me and this wasn't my life, I wouldn't believe all of the mundanely ridiculous things that happen to me either. But it did. And they do. I'm an attentive Mom. I really am. And my toddler knows it. So she lurks in waiting... until I'm momentarily distracted by another task. Sometimes she even sends me on the aforementioned tasks. I'm onto her tactics now, though: Norah: *signs ASL sign for "eat" and then "please"* Me: Of course, sweetheart! Would you like Mommy to make you some oatmeal?" Norah: *smiles and repeats "oatmeal" while deviously planning to get into my diaperbag* Me: *watches my child walk back over to the couch and pretend to be interested in her coloring book... mischief managed... and goes back to preparing oatmeal* Yeah... it takes like a minute and a half--maybe two. The water was already heated from my morning cup of tea. But in that minute-and-a-half, she snuck over to the church diaper bag, expertly unzipped it, retrieved my hand lotion, opened the lid, and emptied the bottle's contents all over herself, the floor, the couch, and her sister's toes. In less than two minutes. HOW?! She realized her mistake and walked over to the stove to grab the towel while I was mixing the oats in her bowl. I smiled at her, assuming that she spilled a little of the water she was drinking and was taking the initiative to wipe up the droplets--reassured that she was behaving herself and added another 20 seconds to my mental timer for checking in. I didn't notice that she was half-covered in Eucerin dermatologist-approved 24-hour-hydration cream... until I heard the all-too-dreaded "wOooOoooo! uh oh!" coming from around the corner. In trying to wipe up her mess, she inadvertently coated the livingroom walkway in about 4 different kinds of oil from the lotion and was sliding around on her butt across the floor like she was at a waterpark while her baby sister giggled up a storm in her jumper with freshly-lotionized toes wriggling--losing her balance with each jump attempt. So... that's where we're at so far today. I'm a good Mom though... I promise. ...and the oatmeal was blueberry in case you were wondering. I had to reheat it by the time the "Slickening of 2023" was handled though. And I'm currently in the market for a combination zipper-padlock for the diaperbag... and a new bottle of purse-sized hand lotion. Bonus points if it has a childproof cap. My takeaway? Jesus isn't only for Sundays. I need Him every waking moment of every single day... and even the sleeping ones, too. "I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and He prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in Me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in Me." --John 15:1-4 (NLT)
Kaleidoscopic Grace 